Paths to Vindication
by mayberainy
Summary: Sakura is a paper ninja. She knows she will never measure up to the greatness of the legends set before her. So when Tsunade appoints her Hokage, there must be some sort of mistake. But instead of trying to become terrifyingly strong like her predecessors, she protects her village in a different way. She becomes a politician. And that is all the more scarier. Sakura-centric
1. The Rokudaime

_**vindication | noun | vin·di·ca·tion | proof that something or someone is right, reasonable, or justified | the act of clearing someone from blame or suspicion**_

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After nine years as the Godaime Hokage of Konohagakure, Tsunade decides she has had enough. She has endured almost a decade of torture and now all she wants to do is go back to a life free of paperwork and full of booze and gambling. A life without spending countless sleepless nights worrying about the fate of her village and certainly without Shizune breathing down her neck for trying to catch up on a little sleep. It is almost unbelievable, but she actually prefers working in the hospital to this sort of life.

Besides, she never wanting this stupid job anyway. Just because Naruto managed to guilt her into it so many years ago does not mean she enjoys a single second of this torture. Tsunade feels she has done her time, and done it damn well by the way, but the position no longer suits her.

When she took over, Hiruzen Sarutobi, the acclaimed God of Shinobi, had died. Who was she to turn her back on the village that raised her? In the end, she became Hokage. She led her people. Konoha was in need when she stepped up to the mantle. It is still in need, but this time around it is of an entirely different nature. It is a need she can not fill.

In this case, Tsunade feels like a coward, running away from her troubles. The weight of so many lives in her hands does not sit well with her and, truth be told, it never has. It is a burden that even the passage of time can never lift from her shoulders. Unfortunately, this is only the beginning of the torturous things the Hokage must endure.

Changes are coming. She can feel it. She doubts her ability to handle these changes, though she has had no trouble in the years before. It is not that she is incapable. No, she was as strong a Kage as any of the other leaders of the hidden villages. Call it intuition, but Tsunade feels that it means the Hokage position demands new blood and she is just a passing phase. It needs new eyes to decipher new problems the likes of which they have never seen.

She is not a complete coward. This time around, she will stay in Konoha. Everything within her tells her to run away, but there is a leash that tethers her. It is the bonds she has made with her comrades. It is her loyalty to the village. It is her pride.

The Godaime decides she will not throw her successor to the hounds. It is her precious former apprentice, after all.

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Sakura is pouring herself tea when Tsunade tells her that she will be the Rokudaime. In response, she drops the teapot and stares at her shishou in abject horror. Luckily, she manages to recover herself in time to catch the ceramic pot just inches from shattering on the floor. Her hands are still shaking as she sits it back down on the safety of the table.

"Very funny, Tsunade-sama." She forces a small laugh and finishes pouring her cup before wiping away the spilled tea. With shaking hands, she puts two sugar cubes into her drink before deciding fuck it she need this and adding three more.

"I'm serious, Sakura. I've told the Council and I've done all the paperwork-Don't give me that look, yes I actually did the work!"

For the first time in a very long time, Sakura is speechless.

Well, very nearly so. It is not long before the arguments rise in her throat and she states every good reason why this is a bad idea.

The action is unprecedented and sends the Council of Elders into a fit of rage. Sakura herself does not know why Tsunade gives her the role instead of Naruto. It is his dream, after all, one he has been chasing his entire life. Accepting the position would be akin to stabbing him in the back and Kami knows he has gone through enough pain and suffering.

Besides, Sakura knows she is not the caliber of shinobi that is demanded of a Kage. She is strong, yes, and proud of it. Her position in ANBU and as head medic at the hospital are things she fought hard for. But this alone does not constitute this decision.

There are many others much more suited to take her place. Naruto, Kakashi, hell, even Shikamaru would be better choices than her! They have made names for themselves in the shinobi world and while she is somewhat known, it is mostly as "the Godaime's apprentice".

Both of these names ride the coattails of someone much more famous than her and if the bingo books do not consider her dangerous enough of her own volition, then what will other Kages when word reaches them? They will not respect her and weakness is not the reputation Sakura wishes to bring to Konoha. She brings up all these points immediately. They are quickly dismissed without care.

Being the stubborn woman she is, Tsunade does not accept any other answer besides a resounding yes. "You know the inner and outer workings of the position from working for me. I'm sure you've done more paperwork than I have at this point," Tsunade tells her, eyes leveled with a no-nonsense look about them, "You're loyal, committed, hard-working, intelligent, you get the point. I don't see why you can't."

"But, again, I'm not-"

"Like it or not, I've named you my successor and you should be proud. Now let's get to your training, you have a week before your inauguration and I'm not going to argue with you any more."

Sakura does not know how Tsunade manages to both override the Council and push the inauguration so early. Government workings are never quick. Politicians loved to argue and hear the sound of their own voices, so Tsunade must have really run them ragged for everything to go through.

The conversation could go on for hours, but there is no room for argument in Tsunade, not when her mind has been made up for so long. This is clearly expressed when she breaks her desk in two without spilling a drop of sake.

Sakura wishes to point out that she could do the exact same, but a glare sent her way is enough to shut her mouth and just accept that this will be the longest week of her life.

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The date of the inauguration arrives too quickly. The past few days have been a whirlwind of political terms and other social nonsense that Sakura already knows much about. After all, she is the one who stays up with Tsunade until four in the morning on weekends, trying to figure out the mountains of paperwork that never seem to let up.

Naruto, surprisingly, is not mad when he finds out. In fact, he congratulates her and hugs her the second he is informed of the news. But in true Naruto fashion, he then declares that she watch out for her job because he will surely be stealing it from her soon.

She would have nothing less.

Kakashi ruffles her hair affectionately. Sasuke does not seem to care. Sai somehow manages to insult her. And Yamato, the poor pacifist he is, tells her how proud he is and then berates the two dark haired boys for being, as he put it, "assholes".

She can not help but agree with him on that one.

Nevertheless, Team Seven stands beside her during the ceremony. They never falter from her side. Not that anyone else would ever know who they are. To the onlookers, they are simply the ANBU who now make up the new Hokage's Personal Guard. People who knew them well enough might guess their identities, but they know better than to separate Team Seven. Their story is too well known.

Boar stands in front of all of the rest of his team as the official captain, almost touching shoulders with her, but Sakura trusts in the skills of Monkey, Sheep, Lion, and Hawk just as much. After years of service together, she can not afford to not to put her absolute faith in them. Now, she will rely on them more than ever. It is not just for her protection. The gears have been turning in her head since Tsunade made her announcement.

Together, they have a long way to go. But with the other members of Team Seven at her side, they ease a bit of her fear and she feels might just survive her term in office.

Tsunade gives her resignation speech, short and sweet. Sakura expects nothing less from her Shishou, who always hated the formalities of her job and preferred to simply get them over with. Unfortunately, it also means that the acceptance speech is fast approaching. It is almost as short as Tsunade's because Sakura is not quite sure what to say.

There are confused faces in the crowd. She does not blame them, she is nearly as confused as them. But as the inauguration continues and she finishes talking, the very same looks of confusion are replaced with happiness and pride. Somehow, the people of Konoha have come to accept her and she will not let them down.

At the age of twenty two, Sakura Haruno simultaneously becomes the Rokudaime and the youngest Hokage. Her age is only two years shy of when the Yondaime himself had taken up the role. The robes do not fit her and her face looks strange etched forever in stone alongside those of her predecessors. Nevertheless, the crowd of citizens, her citizens, cheer uproariously when the hat is placed upon her head and the ceremony comes to a close.

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Sakura knows she is not a shinobi of legendary caliber, nor will she ever be. Her face may be etched among those of the greats, but she does not let it go to her head. Tsunade may claim she has nothing more to teach her, but the title of Sanin is still not yet within Sakura's grasp. The determination is strong within her, however, because it will be hers one day.

There is something that Tsunade has that Sakura does not, however. It is something unteachable. It is experience. The Sanin has many years on her and many of them have been war and other unspeakable tragedies. There are many happy memories in her experience as well, but most have not been favorable. But it makes all the difference.

Perhaps Sakura has grown to be a strong shinobi in her own right, but she will never stand equal grounds with the likes of ninjas such as Madara Uchiha or Hashirama and Tobirama Senju. She is simply not made for such things. No, she is a paper ninja. It takes her a while to come to terms with this and she even fights this fact in the beginning. Being teammates with powerhouses such as those of Team Seven, it is natural to want to be like them.

But Sakura comes to accept this about herself.

There is no kekkei genkai to her name, no secret or hidden abilities for her to uncover, no naturally endless supply of chakra, nor a tailed beast sealed inside her. Hell, she is from a civilian clan! The odds are stacked against her and it is already impressive she has survived for this long. So many factors weigh against her and her career as a shinobi. It is unfair. Life is always unfair.

The ninja in her tells her to even the playing fields.

The paper ninja in her knows exactly how to do it.

Slowly, Sakura realizes why she is given the title of Hokage and for the first time since the announcement, she embraces it, if only briefly. She can only hope that whoever stands in her way is prepared for the storm that she will bring because there has never been a Hokage who can understand, and even manipulate, the political game quite like her.

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There are many problems Sakura inherits as Hokage. This means there is no time for rest, even on the very day of her inauguration, even though it is officially set aside as a day of celebration. As such, there is a festival set up in her honor. It will run all weekend and, much to her displeasure, she isn't even allowed the pleasure of enjoying it. Because when the hell is there ever going to to be another festival in her honor again?

Tsunade tells her that if she ever ends a war or achieves anything else equally as awesome, there will definitely be another one.

"Right," Sakura sniffs indignantly, "Like I'm conceited enough to start a war just over that." She then glares at Sai, who is in the middle of opening his mouth to say something but quickly shuts it instead.

After the ceremony, there is much to be done, file to be transferred in her name, envoys to be sent to the other villages to announce the new Hokage, it is all a massive headache. But it must be done as quickly as possible to ensure a smooth transition, else her legitimacy be compromised in any way. A political scandal was the last thing that the village needed at the moment.

Her first night as Hokage is not spent in celebration like she had hoped. There's not even a bottle of alcohol on her desk as congratulations. Instead, the night passes with little fervor as she works until the glassy light of day breaks through the window and alerts her that she has effectively pulled the first all nighter of many to come.

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Sakura chooses Shikamaru as her assistant because while Shizune is great, she is Tsunade's assistant, not hers. When she informs him of her decision he snorts and blows a puff of smoke in her face.

"You're funny."

She crosses her arms and stares at him dead in the eyes, like she is issuing a challenge. "I'm serious."

"Unfortunately, I know," Shikamaru groans, dropping the half smoked cigarette and crushing the embers beneath his foot.

"C'mon, Shika, its a huge honor! Plus you're like, the smartest guy I know. I can't be going around making dumb errors and embarrassing myself in front of people."

"It's also a huge headache and a lot of work that you know I don't want to do. Can't you make my dad do it instead?"

"I don't want Shikaku," she snaps impatiently, crossing her arms with a huff, "I want you as my chief advisor, dammit!"

He sighs. "Jeez, what a drag."

Sakura scowls, issuing herself a tactical retreat as she goes silent for a moment. But the battle is far from over. An idea springs into her head and she bites the inside of her cheek to hide the smile that threatens to spill onto her lips. "If you beat me in shogi, I'll drop the issue entirely." She pauses. "But if I beat you, you accept, no questions asked."

His eyes light up, disregarding everything except the prospect of being able to play. Even though they have played many times before, he is entranced by the thought that not many people are able to say they can beat a Kage at, well, anything. "Deal," Shikamaru agrees much too quickly and sets up the board for their game.

In all honesty, Sakura never stood a chance. While she does better than he has ever seen her play, she even pulls a few moves he has never seen her play before, she still loses. He takes her king within the hour, despite her best efforts. He simply knows the game too well, the fundamentals and tactics are of second nature to him.

But instead of being devastated at the loss, she gives him a knowing smile.

It is his turn to scowl, even though he wins. Singlehandedly, she has just proven that there is no better pick for the job and he hates it when she is right. He already knows what she wants to say. It will probably go, "See? I almost got you! You know why? Because you know how to push me to achieve the best. That's why I want you for the job. And also you're super smart, but I already said that."

Shikamaru cuts her off before she can even open her mouth to speak. "Alright, jeez, fine. I'll fucking do it, troublesome woman."

Her smile turns into a grin. "You start on Monday at 8 in the morning. If you're late, you don't get any vacation days for a year."

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After a week in office, it becomes clear that Sakura can not just be a Hokage. There are certain qualities required of a Kage that she finds she is currently unable to fulfill. At least, unable to in the traditional manner. Since lacking these characteristics might question the legitimacy of her role, she is forced to meet these requirements in a rather non traditional method.

Instead of just the Hokage, she must be a politician. And not just any normal, sappy do-gooder who took up their job with pure and innocent intentions to help the people. While she most definitely works for her citizens, she is not afforded the luxury of going about things the pleasant way.

Sakura must be the sort of politician that plays dirty and ran secret deals outside of the closed door meetings with her coconspiritors. The sort to smile while twisting the metaphorical (or sometimes literal) knife into her enemy's sides and then perhaps laugh about it afterwords. It is not proud work. There is lying and bribery and backstabbing and all the worst kind of things one can imagine.

She thrives. It is perfect for her because hell, she may not be some sort of shinobi with insurmountable power, but the political field is an entirely different matter. Whoever has the more impressive ninjutsu or the rarest kekkei genkai is no longer the determining factor of the battle. It is mind games and manipulation and twisting words until they no longer hold any meaning. But most importantly, it is mentally degrading any who go against her until the mere thought of defying her brings physical pain.

Most assume that the title of Hokage is simply based on raw strength. She had thought this is the beginning as well. But the truth unravels itself the longer she stays in power. While it certainly does not hurt to have the strength to back up threats, there is more than can be revealed through first glance. Not everything is revealed to her immediately, but with time and a whole lot of patience, she knows she will unravel the secret of office.

Begrudgingly, Sakura admits that Tsunade is a damn smart woman, picking her. While Sakura will always lack the traditional raw power of a Hokage, she makes up for it in her political consciousness. Things might just work out okay if she can play her cards right when the time comes, but she will cross that bridge when she gets there.

Who says paper ninja are completely useless?

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Shikamaru is scarily effective when he wants to be. Sakura learns this in the three days after he is officially established in his role as her assistant. If she thought she was working hard before, it is nothing compared to what she is accomplishing now. Papers are moving their way in and out of the office before she can go over them for a third time.

How the hell did Tsunade manage to be slacking off half the time?

Somehow, Shikamaru manages to be lazy and productive at the same time and while it is impressive, it is also a pain in the ass. But she supposes she did ask for this, after all.

A cup of coffee is placed on her desk, her second of the day, and she gulps it down eagerly.

"Better slow down, that's the last cup you're allowed to have today," Shikamaru says, raising an eyebrow at her. He sets down yet another stack of papers for her to go through. It is uncharacteristically hefty, the coffee is definitely to help her get through the entire thing by the end of the day.

"What are you, my mother?" she scowls, but listens anyway, stopping when the mug is half empty, "How much more needs to be done today?"

"This is the last thing, but make sure you read it carefully. It's reaffirmation of the trade deals with one of our grain suppliers. The old copies are in there too, you need to make sure they aren't trying to slip something in under the chaos of the new office."

Sakura groans loudly and opens her mouth to ask something, but is quickly cut off.

"And I'm not going to spike your coffee, so forget about asking. You're not Tsunade, so stop being an alcoholic already."

She groans louder.

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Since she was officially inducted, Sakura has not worn her robes or even her hat. Not once. Instead, they have been hanging on the coat rack in the corner, quietly collecting dust. It's a bit of a shame, since they were tailor made just for her and are of exceptional quality, but she can not bring herself to put them on.

To be fair, Tsunade never wore her robes either, but their reasons are very different. The older woman complained that there was no point in wearing them every day except to fuel her own ego. Besides, the bright red color clashes with some of the clothes she likes to wear.

Sakura, on the other hand, feels she does not deserve it, to wear clothes that so closely resemble the very ones that the Hokages before her. Despite whatever people say to convince her that she does deserve her position, it just doesn't feel right. The robes are supposed to be exactly her size, but no matter how she shifts them, it pinches and pulls, giving her no relief until they are off.

One day, when no one is looking, she lifts the garment from the hook that it has come to rest on. The fabric is heavy in her hands, like weights have been stitched into the very seams. She slides one arm in first, hesitantly, as if she is testing it to see if it will bite. When nothing happens, except for a bit of expected discomfort, she slides her other arm in. With the robe fully on, she stands there, as if in deep contemplation.

Suddenly, Sakura frowns and then sighs, collapsing into the chair behind her desk. "I don't know what I expected," she grumbles to herself, tugging at the collar and then at the sleeves. The familiar scratchy sensation is back and it is not relieved not matter how much she repositions its place on her body.

She looks up forlornly to see the hat still hanging off the rack. She figures she might as well go for it while she's at it and reaches for up to grab it. For a moment, she simply sits, fingering the free hanging cloth that drapes from the brim.

What she wouldn't give to feel as if she deserved to even bear resemblance to the greats before her. The very one who gave their all for Konoha and asked for nothing in return except for the simple privilege of being able to live there. Their determination, their resolve, their strength. It is everything that Sakura wishes for herself, and through her, her village.

She wants to protect Konoha just as they have.

"What can I do?" she asks in a whisper, tracing the red kanji for fire that is proudly displayed on the front, "I've got some large shoes to fill."

The hat has no response for her, leaving her in silence. She lets the quiet moment sit for a few more minutes, before she lifts the headdress to her head. It is lighter than she remembers, not weighing down like from the first time she wore it. The fabric sits light upon her and it feels almost as if it is taking some of the weight from her shoulders. For a brief moment, Sakura imagines that the everything fits just right.

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Two weeks after her inauguration, things finally seem to settle down and the amount of paperwork is actually at a somewhat reasonable level. Tsunade feels confident enough to leave Sakura to her own devices and takes up the head medic position Sakura has recently abandoned. Even Shizune moves on, feeling Shikamaru has appropriately tight reigns on the Rokudaime. She, unsurprisingly, joins the hospital force as well.

This leaves Sakura's Friday night free for the first time in a long while. As soon as the clock strikes seven, she wastes no time in grabbing Shikamaru by the arm and dragging him to the Sparrow's Nest. The members of the Konoha Twelve have been meeting there every Friday since they were legal to drink. For civilians, the age is 18, but shinobi are allowed two years earlier. Sometimes younger if the bartender that night is feeling generous.

It became an unspoken tradition for them. Their custom is never officially planned, but each of them faithfully show up at the same time and place whenever they are available. It is much needed stress relief in their unnecessarily hectic lives.

"Sakura! Haven't seen you in this place in ages!" Kiba barks, perking up at the sight of a familiar pink head that enters the bar, "Actually, haven't seen you out of your office much since you got promoted. How's life treating ya?" He pushes a half empty bottle of sake in her direction, not bothering to offer her a cup to pour it into. He knows better than that.

"Feel like I've been run over by an Akimichi," she groans, bringing the bottle to her lips and ignoring Shikamaru's mutters about her taking after Tsunade in more ways than one. Choji snorts at her joke at the expense of his family, but allows her a pass. Only this once though, because she looks like she has had a rough week, but any more will get her into trouble, Hokage or not. "Seriously, I think I'm ready to retire already."

"Drinks on us, then, Sakura-chan!" Naruto cheers, knocking her shoulders with his own and almost spilling whatever concoction is in his shot glass, "For you and Shikamaru because you tight asses haven't set foot out of the office or let us give you a proper congratulations." He waves the waitress over and orders enough to last them the whole night and, even with the generous income that comes with his new job, burn a hole in his wallet.

For once, she won't argue with his logic. Especially if that congratulations is in the form of hard liquor because tonight she wants to drink until she has trouble seeing five feet in front of her.

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As much as she wishes, the position of Hokage is not a nine to five with weekends free and two weeks paid vacation that she can call in when she likes. Much to Sakura's displeasure, she finds herself at her desk early Saturday morning with a stack of paperwork practically glaring her down.

Even though she would much rather be at home sleeping, she finds herself being not so gently shaken awake by an ANBU with a cat mask. She resists the urge to go back to sleep anyway and is in her office in fifteen minutes.

"Hangovers are a bitch, huh, Forehead?" Ino chirps happily, perching herself on the desk and crossing her legs, "I know you're excited about being let out of your cage and all, but I think you should have stopped after the seventh shot."

Sakura briefly looks up from her position, her forehead to the flat surface of the desk, and shoots the other woman a glare. "Have I ever told you how much I hate you?"

"Oh, don't be like that," Ino sighs and presses glowing green hands to Sakura's temple. The headache subsides quickly and the nausea rumbling in her stomach is quelled as well. "You know, you were head medic for four years, you could have just done that for yourself."

"Hey, when I'm hungover I don't even want to think about doing anything. Besides, I don't get the luxury of drinking enough to be hungover often. And not have to pay for it either" Sakura sits up and rolls her shoulder back slowly, hearing a satisfying pop as she does so. She picks up the papers and begins to glance over them.

"Mooooving on. I wanted you to look over the new T&I budget. We need some new facilities. Charcoal walls are so last season, it's all about Midnight now! And some new seats with restraints I guess, cause the old ones are falling apart. Almost had some guy get out yesterday!" At the memory, Ino lets a giggle slip from her lips. Sakura is not sure she wants to know exactly how the attempted escapee was punished.

"My, my, Yamanka-san," Sakura says as she flips through Ino's proposal without really reading it, "Using your good graces with the Hokage to push your agenda through? You know that can land you in some serious trouble."

Ino rolls her eyes dramatically. "Oh shut up, you like abusing your power more than I do. Besides, it's only a 8% increase from last year."

"Well, as long as you never tell anyone, I suppose there might be something I can do for you." Sakura grins, then signs her name and stamps her official seal on the document.

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Trying out a new writing style, how is it?

I love badass-and-can-kill-everyone Sakura fics, but I also think there is a lot of potential in her not being as strong as her teammates. Think of this as a different sort of exploration on her character as a political powerhouse instead of a traditional powerhouse.

Set in the Narutoverse, but I'm changing lots of event dates around. Team Seven sticks together for another two years, until they're 14, before Sasuke defects to give them a little more chance to bond. Naruto will be gone four years instead of two, which means he comes back when they're 18. This changes over events around too, but everything will be explain, I promise!

Thanks for reading!


	2. The Hokage's Personal Guard

_**vindication | noun | vin**_ _ **·di·ca·tion |**_ _**proof that something or someone is right, reasonable, or justified | the act of clearing someone from blame or suspicion**_

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Her ANBU guard is around her embarrassingly often. Sure, Sakura understands that it is for her own safety and all that mumbo jumbo, but the lengths that they go to is more than just a bit ridiculous. They insist on staying within the office at all times, sometimes hidden, sometimes not, even through the most mundane activities. How they don't get bored, she'll never know.

It gets worse at night, when she goes home after a long day and just wants to relax and sleep for as long as she is able to. They accompany her, barely giving her privacy when she is bathing or changing. Seriously, do they ever sleep?

And if she really feels like complaining, she will bring up the fact that she does not, in fact, need five guards as opposed to the usual three or four. But they will have it absolutely no other way because Team Seven is a fucking family and hell if the Hokage is going to be the one to tear them apart.

She supposes that they one good thing is that they're awfully good company. She hardly feels lonely when they are around and if she needs a good distraction, she just has to call one of them by their animal face masks and they will indulge her. Technically, the ANBU know they really are not to speak on the job, but Sakura knows they are never able to say no to her.

If anything, Team Seven spoils her more now than they ever have. If she is feeling particularly stressed, she may find a plate of dango appear on top of her paperwork. Anyone who barges into her office to annoy her is promptly found in an alley with a broken wrist and sprained shoulder.

They always find a way to protect her.

Sakura rips another letter from some irrelevant noble, containing demands for Sasuke Uchiha's execution and a very unconvincing threat that the noble's army will carry it out if she does not comply. She throws the shredded remains in the trash, along with several other decidedly unimportant documents.

Little do the other members of Team Seven know that she protects them just as well.

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Sakura never calls them by their real names while they are on duty. Well, sometimes she slips up or has a reason for it, but this is rare. It is not because she simply wants to, it is out of duty and respect for their esteemed position. Or something equally as pretentious along those lines.

All she knows is she will be in a lot of trouble if certain people hear her call them by their names and reveal their identities. After all, the identity behind the mask is supposed to be a secret to all except a mere handful of people. Additionally, Sakura also knows that there might be some sort of public outcry if it is revealed that the Hokage's Personal Guard is none other than the rest of Team Seven themselves. No doubt they will accuse her of using her title to bring her friends up the ranks with her.

Which is dumb. Because really, who would be more competent than the people who are already overprotective of her? They are all impressive shinobi in their own right as well and anyone who spouted nonsense about her teammates being too "emotionally attached" to do their jobs can shoves their complaints right up their asses.

Seriously, the Council can just stuff it for once. When Sakura slips up for the first time in front of them, Homura is quick to scold her, citing reason upon reason why such a thing is both a "disgusting lack of respect" and a "complete disregard for authority".

She notes that as Hokage she is, perhaps, the highest authority. Really, she knows that they do not approve of her holding the title she has, but would it really hurt to give her just a hint of respect? Or even pretend like they don't thoroughly and completely hate her guts?

Sakura decides can either disregard them and not make any sort of effort _or_ try her best to never let it happen again. Apparently, she is a masochist because she chooses the latter because she doesn't think she can handle yet another lecture from any of them. Besides, they already think she can't do it and this is just another opportunity to spite them.

So she sticks to her decision, even in private, because the Council would probably hear about it in some way. They have ears like that.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto (er, she means Monkey) screams as he enters her office through the window, "We brought lunch and I promise it's not ramen! See? Dango, just like you asked." Proudly, he holds the plastic bag inches from her face.

"Thank you, Monkey, I appreciate it."

He does a double take, staring at her through his mask with wide eyes before looking around the room, a confused look on his face as if he is missing something. "There's not, like, someone hiding is there?" he asks, scratching his cheek nervously, "Because you only call me that when we're in front of people and I'm on duty."

"Oh no, Homura-san and I had a pleasant talk about how I must call my personal guard by their codenames because otherwise I would be doing a larger huge disservice to this village than I already do by being Hokage." Her lips are curled in a tight, strained smile and the vein on her forehead bulges. The pen in her hands threatens to snap in half.

"I-I'm sure they mean nothing by it, Sak-Hokage-sama." _Hawk_ (not Yamato!) says, trying his best to placate her, "But the Elders aren't here right now, so it should be fine."

"You know damn well that after that lecture, they're going to be looking extra hard for any slip ups. At least for a while." She shakes her head. "Look, I'm just going to have to deal with it," Sakura sighs, leaning back into the cushion of her seat and crossing her arms, "And now I'm asking you to try your best too. For me?"

And while Sakura certainly holds up her decision with sheer determination and thinly veiled anger, they are not as motivated as she is. She is only able to relish them calling her "Hokage-sama" for a week before they slip back into informalities.

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Sometimes they switch masks just for the hell of it. Or just to piss her off, which is the same thing in their books.

"Lion, can you come here?" Sakura asks, not looking up from her work. There is a small shifting sound and he appears in front of her. Her eyes narrow, but the pen against the paper does not stop moving. "I said Lion, not Monkey, dumbass."

"I am Lion," comes the muffled voice behind the mask.

She looks up, unimpressed. "Switch back or I swear to Kami I'll send both of you in a diplomatic envoy to Iwa for the next three months. Lion, what's the hold up? Get your ass out here."

"Sakura-chan, you're no fun," _Monkey_ whines, unclipping the painted porcelain to trade with the other ANBU who has just appeared, "And I can do everything Sai can! I'm going crazy not getting to do anything."

"You're not supposed to take off your mask in public, dickless," Lion remarks, though he is doing the very same. Soon they have their appropriate disguises in place.

"Because I need Lion, and not Monkey, to send a message with his little ink rats, so unless you magically gained the ability to do that, you're shit out of luck." She hands Lion the scroll and flicks his nose when he tries to read it. "Hey! Very confidential information in there, get it to Ino as soon as you can."

With a nod, Lion disappears, but Monkey is still in the room standing in front of her desk. Sakura raises a single eyebrow and he simply stares back at her. Somehow, even though there is no way to see it, she knows the pleading expression that he is giving her right now.

"Alright, alright," she finally relents, pulling open the top right drawer of her desk, "I'll get you something to do if you stop complaining."

He cheers, throwing a fist into the air in triumph and taking the scroll as soon as she presents it to him. He is gone within moments, not even bothering to look over the details of the mission she has chosen for him.

The captain of her guard appears in the room, quietly taking a position to her left. "You spoil him, you know."

Sakura smiles and picks up her pen to start up her work again. "Shut up, Boar."

He chuckles and leans against the wall.

"Besides, I gave him guard duty."

"I always knew you were my favorite."

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"If you fight with my political guests again, I will not hesitate in dismissing you," Sakura fumes, nails digging into the palms of her hands as she resists the urge to plant her fist in his face and break that stupid mask of his. Maybe even break his nose while she's at it. You know, just to teach him a lesson.

Sheep crosses his arms and the eyes that stare down at her through the slits are as defiant as ever. "Regardless of his status, Takahara was portraying himself in an unfavorable light and I took it upon myself to rectify the situation. Besides, he didn't even know it was me."

"Sasuke, I will not repeat myself. Unfortunately for you, being part of the Hokage's guard includes playing nice with some people you won't like because you represent my and my name," she says, making a point to use his real name.

He stiffens slightly in response because there is another ANBU team in the room and he distinctly remembers her tirade about her recent spat with the Council over codenames. She has not slipped since then.

Still feeling as if her point has not come across, she adds, "I know there is a very willing Rabbit who can take your place if you don't feel like listening."

Rabbit is Neji, who has recently been made Captain of his ANBU squad. It is a sore spot for Sheep and she knows it. To be replaced is bad enough, but to be replaced by a Hyuuga is even worse. With a very overexaggerated groan, Sheep bows his head. "I'm sorry for my actions, Hokage-sama."

It doesn't sound very sincere, but Sakura knows it is the best she will get out of him. And he even has the courtesy to use her title. "Apology accepted." She ruffles his hair in a very Kakashi-like manner and smirks when she can practically see the scowl on his face. "Actually, apology will be accepted if you get me some ice cream. It's just the perfect weather for it!"

He mumbles something under his breath.

"And you will be temporarily assigned to Takahara-sama's own security force to escort him around the village for the duration of his stay."

"Dammit, Sakura!"

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"I hate you," Sakura whispers, "Don't you ever scare me like that again." She bites her lips and continues to heal them, taking care of their remaining wounds with relative ease. The deep gashes and broken bones seem to melt away as she works over them. They are in much better condition now than when they first arrived, now relaxing on her floor with their masks pulled to the side of their faces.

Sitting with his legs crossed, Hawk tries to laugh, but coughs up blood instead. "Yes, Hokage-sama," he chokes out, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He grimaces and quickly wipes his hand off on his already bloodied shirt.

Boar is lying on his back next to him, holding a bright orange book over his face and pretending like he was not just bleeding out moments before. "Yes, Hokage-sama," he repeats, a bit delayed, and turns the page.

The two of them have just gotten back from a mission. Officially, it is a simple reconnaissance mission to a small town on the border of the Land of Fire. Unofficially, it is an assassination of a previous ally. Their informant, who has always been a bit sketchy and more than a bit untrustworthy, is apparently also selling his services to Iwagakure and that is simply is not acceptable.

It seems their former operative is not as dumb as he looks and it also seems that Iwa is willing to pay much more than Konoha because when Boar and Hawk arrive, there is more than just their informant waiting for them. It ends bloodily, but at least Iwa is now missing five ANBU and an informant whose greed got the better of him.

The chakra gathered in her hand dissipates when Sakura finishes and she sits back to look over her handiwork. It's some damn good work for middle of the night and not having the luxury of having immediate access to the hospital's facilities, if she says so herself. "I'm serious," she sighs, "If you die I'm not giving you that raise you guys have been asking for."

At the mention of money, Boar snaps up to a sitting position with keen interest. His hand flies to his side, where she has just closed one of his more serious injuries, and he winces.

"Don't you dare reopen anything! I worked hard these past two hours so you wouldn't die."

He ignores her. "We won't be going anywhere anytime soon, Hokage-sama." It translates into: "I can buy the new collector's edition of Icha Icha with that raise."

Her eyes narrow dangerously before she suddenly breaks into a smile, albeit a fake one. (She learned this nifty trick from Lion). "This is why Hawk is my favorite. He's the only one who takes his injuries seriously. I have to drag the rest of you to the hospital."

Hawk looks much too happy with himself. She dares say he's preening.

"But Sakura-chan!" Boar whines.

"Sorry Boar, maybe try coming in for routine check-ups every once in a while."

He visibly deflates and Hawk gives him a sympathetic pat on the back.

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Sakura stares at the empty expanse of wall, one hand on her hip and the other cupping her chin in thought. "I'm thinking a overview of Konoha. It would really bring something of interest into the room. I'm tired of staring at just an empty wall."

"That's incredibly sappy and unoriginal of you, Hag," Lion replies, giving her an unimpressed look. The mask that usually adorns his face is in his hands so he can get a better look at the canvas in front of him.

Resisting the urge to punch him, she balls her fists and scowls. "You got a better idea?"

He looks at her like the answer is supposed to be glaringly obvious. "Of course. I'm an artist."

"Alright well, get it done then. I'd say take as much as you want, but I want to send you on a mission in a few days so. You know. Hurry up." She pauses. "But not like, rush it hurry up. Make it good. If I really like it, I'll officially consider it a mission and pay you for it."

"Don't you want to know what it is first?" Lion asks as he tilts his head slightly in confusion.

"I trust you. Enough." To be honest, she half expects him to draw a scene from Icha Icha. But if that happens, then Sai is practically volunteering himself to be her punching bag after the next time she has a meeting with the Council.

It takes him almost two days to complete the work, which is much faster than any other artist she can hire. He insists on her taking a temporary office a few doors down, however. "The paint fumes might get to your head and you'll be even more of a bitch than normal," he says as an excuse, but she knows he just doesn't want her to see it yet. She still elbows him in the gut for it though.

Sakura is moments away from packing up to go home when the door to her temporary office swings open. "It's done?" she asks, but already knows the answer by the glint in his eyes that only ever appears whenever his artwork is involved. He nods and she follows him down the hallway with poorly contained excitement.

It's amazing and beautiful and perfect and all the more positive adjectives she can't think of at the moment because she loves it _that_ much. She reminds herself never to doubt Lion's artistic judgement again.

A nondescript figure wearing the Hokage robes and hat faces away, displaying the flutter fabric with the kanji for "Hokage" stitched in red on the back of the robe. The vagueness is obvious, but she excuses it. The fabric is tattered and worn, like they have just survived a terrible battle, but the figure's posture is obviously one of pride and determination.

Surrounding the scene are flames that seem so lifelike, they might just burn if she gets too close. But through the fire is the overview of Konoha she remembers asking for. Sakura resists the urge to snort, apparently Lion didn't think her idea wasn't so bad after all.

There are no words on the painting besides those on the robe, not even a title to describe it, but she knows the raw emotions that Lion has painstakingly directed into each and every brushstroke. With only a single glance, she knows everything. All the pure, unadulterated thoughts and feelings that are practically bursting from the painting.

It is the Will of Fire, the very one that burns bright in all of them. The one that she fights for and the one she knows she will eventually die for. And Lion, the cheeky asshole, somehow manages to both capture its infinite meaning in a single painting and intertwine it a definition all his own. The artistic flares are unmistakably his.

She suddenly remembers to breathe. "Sai, you're a genius," she exhales, her fingers hovering over the dry paint, though not daring to touch it. They hypnotically trace the wisps of flames and the flow of the cloak as it flaps in the wind.

"I know."

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"I don't know, Sakura-chan, you look good with a mustache." Monkey says, staring up at the painted stone faces of the Hokage with a forcibly thoughtful look on his uncovered face. Seriously. Did he _ever_ wear his mask? His charade would be convincing if there wasn't a streak of orange paint, the same shade as that on the monuments, that ran down his left cheek and onto his chest.

Sakura gives him an unamused glare and shoves his mask on his face, causing him to stumble back slightly. She turns away from the scene to head back to her office. "Monkey, wash the Hokage monument right now or I'll send your ass back to Genin so fast you'll have caught Tora three times by the middle of next week."

"Y-yes Hokage-sama!" At the mention of the devil cat, he pales. D-ranked missions were never any fun, but that little furball was a force of pure evil that even the most skilled ANBU should never have to deal with.

There is a snickering behind them. She does not need to turn around to know that Sheep is sporting paint trails of the exact same color. He is a bit sneakier, she'll give him that, since he at least tried to wash off the evidence. It's futile, however, because first of all he missed a spot right on the underside of his chin and second of all she knows him much too well. Though he will never admit it, he loves pranks almost as much as Monkey.

"That goes for you too, Sheep."

There is a loud smacking behind her, the sound of Monkey's head being forcefully hit by Sheep's open palm. "Teme, that hurt!"

"Hn. Good."

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Konoha at night is pretty. The stars are bright in the cloudless (for once, thank Kami, but don't let Shikamaru hear her) sky and the streetlamps illuminate the city oh so prettily. It's a shame she doesn't get to enjoy this more: the simple, often overlooked, pleasures of Konoha.

These are the reasons she's fallen in love with it, after all. From the buzz of fireflies flitting about, to the laughter of content families behind drawn curtains and illuminated windows.

Sakura gives a contented sigh.

A gruff voice interrupts her quiet contemplation. "If you make falling asleep in your office a regular habit, you might as well just put a bed in there."

"A girl slips up _one time_ and this is what she has to deal with?" Sakura groans and presses her forehead into Boar's back in annoyance, "A snarky ANBU who has a horrible and uncomfortably hard back?"

He snorts, shifting her ever so slightly in his grip. He may seem exasperated with her, but she notices the care he takes in making her as comfortable as possible. "Oh so sorry Hokage-sama, I'll just leave you face down on the wooden desk which is obviously so much more comfortable than my back. Which is, if I may remind you, a result of many years of difficult, intense training."

"At least my desk doesn't talk back," she huffs, finally bringing up her head to rest her chin on his shoulder. She blows a puff of air in his ear, smirking when he flinches ever so slightly.

In retaliation, he shoves his thumb into the back of her knee, the rough leather scratching her skin painfully. "I'll drop you," he says.

"Hah! You wouldn't dare. I have a suspension with your name on it. I wrote it a few days ago, all I have to do is sign it and you get some nice, relaxing vacation time for two weeks."

"You know, teasing you's no fun now that you pull rank all the time."

"What? Like you didn't do that before?" She distinctly remembers her Genin days when he would laze around as the rest of Team Seven picked weeds or completed whatever insufferable D rank mission they had been assigned to that day.

"Alright, that's it. Down you go." Boar unceremoniously unclasps his hands from under her knees, letting her drop to the floor where she lands on both feet, if not after stumbling a bit. He fails to mention that they're in front of her door anyway.

And like the gentleman he is, he fishes the spare key from his pocket and unlocks the door for her. He pushes her in none too gently.

"Thanks, Kakashi," she says quietly, sliding both his masks away and pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek.

Her smiles at her affectionately. "Not Boar?" he asks, with a hint of mirth in his voice.

The animal mask slips fully away from his face and she taps him on the forehead with it. Mismatched eyes stare back at her. "I suppose not," she laughs, "But don't get used to it. It's just cause you didn't dump me on my balcony this time."

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Monkey appears in front of her desk, hands clasped behind his back. "So, you come here often?" he asks, sliding up next to her to sit on the arm rest of her chair and resting his elbow on her head.

"Oh ha ha," Sakura responds unamused as she brushes his arm away, "You can say that I practically live here." Unfortunately, this is true. In the past 72 hours she has only been home twice to shower, even though her bed sounds like a slice of heaven right now and all she really wants to do is fall face first into it. Sleeping and eating are now activities she spends while at her desk. At least while the Southern District Renovation proposal is still being passed.

"Does that mean I can buy the pretty lady a drink?" There is obvious excitement in his voice as his hands reveal themselves to be holding a very large bottle of sake. "She looks like she needs it to get her mind off of whatever the hell kind of political shit is stressing her out this week."

Her face splits into a grin upon seeing the bottle, taking it from him and practically salivating over it. It's the good kind too, the one that has enough alcohol to get drunk from and not just the cheap watered-down shit. "Holy shit!" she shrieks, "How the hell did Shikamaru let you bring that in here?"

"He didn't."

Amazed, Sakura can only shake her head in response. "Naruto, you motherfucking _legend_."

"Now if only I could get that in writing?"

"Maybe when I finish this."

"Sakura-chan!" he whines, "That's supposed to be for both of us! Didn't you learn how to share back at the Academy?"

"Ha! Get me three more bottles and _maybe_ I'll consider letting you have a sip."

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Out of all of them, Hawk is the only morning person.

She used to be one too, before the whole Hokage business happened, of course. Now, early mornings are something she dreads. It's necessary and she occasionally gets to work at 5 AM if there happens to be some particularly pressing issues that day. Unfortunately, one of those days is today.

She yawns, eyes half closed due to grogginess as she enters the Hokage Tower to get her day started. Before she can reach the staircase, however, strong hands land her her shoulders and steer her away. "Hawk? What are you doing?" she mumbles, barely making out the mask when she looks up at the intruder.

He holds a finger to his lips, or rather, where his lips would be if they weren't covered. "Secret."

The vagueness is mildly irritating, but Sakura is unable to fight him off. Especially not without her morning coffee. As if he reads her mind, a mug is shoved into her hands. She gives him the best questioning look she can muster at the moment.

"I want you to be able to open your eyes and see what I'm gonna show you."

Strange. She decides not to question him further and instead takes a sip of her coffee. Mmm, two cream, two sugar, just how she likes it. If she knew he could make coffee like this, she would have made him her assistant instead.

Hawk directs them towards a window and he releases her shoulders to unlatch and then open it. Well now she's definitely curious. It's a good thing her mug is empty because quickly, he hoists her over his shoulder and shunshins them both through the window.

"You crazy asshole!" Sakura huffs when they reappear on the top of the building, clutching onto his arm with her free hand as he sets her down. She tests her balance before finally letting go.

He doesn't respond, only plopping down on the tiled roof and then patting the area next to him. "Sit down, you'll miss it."

"Hmm? Miss what?" she questions, but complies anyway.

No response. She should have expected as much. Hawk has been strangely cryptic today and she thought she's gotten enough of that from both Lion and Sheep, who can both be infuriatingly mysterious when they want to be. Hopefully this new change in Hawk isn't permanent, but she decides to roll with it.

And she's glad she does. The dark soon breaks into the soft light of day, filtering out from over the top of Hokage mountain in a hazy stream of warm yellows and oranges and the bright colors clash with the fading night sky. The sun peeks over the top of the horizon and makes its slow, steady ascent.

The people Konoha begin their day. First, only a few litter the streets, which is no surprise, because not many willingly get up this early in the day. But soon the city awakens, the streets fill slowly, and then much more rapidly as it becomes a more acceptable hour, until there is a bustle of civilians going about their daily routines. Vendors are setting up shop and wares are exchanged in the town center. Children are laughing and running around, watched over by parents who sit back and occasionally gossip with one another.

In the distance, there are shinobi at the training ground. A few are new Genin teams, who have just recently graduated from the Academy and been assigned to Jonin instructors. Among them are Kiba and TenTen.

Sakura leans her head on Hawk's shoulder and continues to watch the day unravel itself before her.

Before she knows it, the morning is well past. She is only aware of the time because Shikamaru climbs onto the roof to yell at her before eventually giving up and lying down to watch the clouds while they continue to look out over Konoha.

It's a rather unproductive day, almost no paperwork get past her desk save for what little Shikamaru had been able to do without needing her signature. Not even the trade bill that's been stagnating for the past week makes it out. She's quite sure that the Elders have heard and are out for her throat (and not to mention her position, but when aren't they trying to usurp her?).

She can't quite bring herself to care.

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What she is truly most grateful for is the fact that they never question her suitability for the role. Not even Sasuke, who Naruto swears up and down is the literal definition of asshole. Sai is a close second, though.

Sakura appreciates it more than the forgotten dinners left on the windowsill at exactly 7:30 every night. More than the surprise flowers or fruit baskets that never have a name or card attached. Even more than the midnight talks they have to distract her from work and keep her from going insane from stress.

It is comforting to know that in these dangerous times, she has at least a few people she can rely on.

Above everything, all Sakura wants is for her citizens to trust her like they have trusted their previous Hokages. Trust that she will protect them and serve them and if need be, put her own life on the line for them. Trust that she, of all people, loves the village so much that sometimes it hurts.

If they could only know the pain in her heart every time a death report shows up on her desk. It feels as if a piece of Konoha has died and torn off part of heart along with it. The knife lodges itself in her chest, twisting with each faint whisper that this is entirely her fault.

She has heard what people say about her. The questioning, though they dare not do it in front of her, is heartbreaking in a way she cannot describe. It's unlike the heartbreak when Sasuke abandoned her _them_ and unlike the heartbreak when she lost her first patient.

It's something entirely new and she can not help but to wonder, though she is still so young, if she hasn't already been through enough heartbreak already. Her heart hasn't even healed from the first time.

The question that hurts the most is "How will she be able to protect the village if she can't even protect herself?" She's only ever heard it once, from recently promoted Jonin whose name she fails to remember but whose face will be burned in her mind forever.

He tells it to his teammates during some B rank mission to the Land of Snow. In the same breath, they neither refute or support his words and her name is not brought up again until it is time for them to return to the village and report to her. One of the teammates tells Lion in secret.

Sakura remembers handing him his flak jacket and congratulating him two days after the Jonin exams. Three others have passed alongside him, a few years younger then he. She even remembers smiling as she asks for his signature to officialize the process.

He smiles back.

This hurts the most.

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I tried to give Sakura a little interaction with everyone, but I'm also planning on devoting individual chapters to all their relationships and backstory and etc. Action and plot will pick up soon. Right now I'm thinking alternating chapters of plot and chapters meant to establish characters and relationships.

The only question is do I make this a KakaSaku fic? It's probably gonna end up that way tbh, but for now we'll keep it Sakura-centric.

Just in case, I'll provide a list of who is what animal mask. I made their assigned names a bit different. For example, Naruto is usually "Fox", but I felt like the point of a codename is to make it hard to guess who is behind the mask. These names weren't chosen randomly tho.

Monkey - Naruto

Sheep - Sasuke

Lion - Sai

Boar - Kakashi

Hawk - Yamato

Thanks for reading!


	3. Kakashi (i)

_**vindication | noun | vin**_ _ **·di·ca·tion |**_ _**proof that something or someone is right, reasonable, or justified | the act of clearing someone from blame or suspicion**_

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There was a time where Kakashi was the strongest shinobi in the village. With the exception of the Hokage, of course. Even though he's lazy and always has his nose stuck in his book, there's no denying the difference in skill between him and his cute little Genin. After all, they graduated from the Academy no more than three months prior.

This illusion is shattered in the Land of Waves. Zabuza's sword lashes out and Kakashi is only barely able to jump far away enough to escape its deadly edge. The rest of Team Seven can do nothing but watch.

It becomes far too real when the tides turn swiftly and Kakashi is caught in the water prison. And though, ultimately, they win the battle, it is a bittersweet victory. None of them have escaped unscathed, and even worse, there is a realization that their sensei is not the strongest shinobi out there. There are dangers even he might not be able to protect them from.

Naruto puts on a brave smile, as he always does, and shouts to the sky that they won't have to worry because he'll become much stronger than Kakashi-sensei and that dumbass Zabuza AND the Hokage so he can protect everyone in Konoha. Sasuke scowls in response and snaps at Tazuna to lead them to the village.

Sakura says nothing and slips her arm under the limp figure of her sensei while Naruto supports the other side. But underneath her silence, she is heartbroken. Not in the same way she feels whenever Sasuke-kun refuses to go out on a date with her or when he casts her an especially icy glare. This feels somehow all the more real. It is the first of many.

She sits at the base of a tree, picking at blades of grass while Naruto and Sasuke bicker about who will reach the top of their trees first.

"You seem sad, Sakura-chan." Kakashi comments, when he awakes from his exhaustion-driven slumber three days after the fight with Zabuza. He hobbles over on his crutches. "Aren't you happy you beat those two?" They both look over to see Naruto fall from a third of the way up the tree, landing on a pile of broken branches with a exaggerated groan.

"No, it's nothing, Kakashi-sensei." She shakes her head and puts on her best smile, one that has even fooled Ino, before she stands and brushes off her dress. "Sorry for slacking off, I just got distracted. Ino used to teach me about wildflowers and I guess I was just reminiscing."

But apparently it's not enough to fool him, because his response is a frown, or rather, a furrowing of his visible brow.

Sakura doesn't think she's even seen Kakashi quite so serious outside of battle.

"Follow me," he suddenly says, turning on his heels and limping away.

"Huh? What about Sasuke-kun and Naruto?" She stumbles after him and receives no response. A pout tugs at her lips, but she chooses not to press him and simply follows silently.

They soon arrive at a small pond, a bit farther into the woods. "I want you to walk over that." Kakashi jabs his chin toward the body of water.

Sakura scowls. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope!"

"But Kakashi-sensei," she whines, "I really don't know the first thing about-"

"Sakura." His tone is suddenly serious, enough for her to snap her mouth shut and lift her gaze to stare at him in surprise. "I won't be able to protect you all the time, you saw how it was with Zabuza. I know that's what you've been so preoccupied about."

"No, tha-that's not it."

He gives her a pointed look, which she doesn't quite care to respond too. Instead, she marches right past him towards the water. She falters momentarily as she draws near, her toes just inches away from the edge. It suddenly occurs to her, yet again, that she doesn't know how to even begin.

"Try concentrating some chakra at the base of your feet," Kakashi yells, having taken a seat at the base of one of the trees by the edge of the clearing.

Sakura huffs, but does as he instructs. It's similar to the tree-climbing, she notes as she takes a step onto the water. And if it's so similar, she should ace this just as easily, right? Instead, she promptly falls right through the surface, and though the water is fairly shallow, she's now drenched up to her waist.

Kakashi is laughing loudly behind her.

"Don't you have better things to do?" she hisses, pulling herself out of the water, "You know, for example, telling me something a bit more useful than just to use chakra?"

He looks contemplative for a second. "Mmm nope."

She wants to scream. She settles on just glaring at him for fraction of a second before trying again. And again. And again.

It takes approximately twenty three more tries (not that she's counting or anything). To stand on the water without falling right through. Sakura only holds it for a few seconds, but when she inevitably falls into the water, she stands right back up with elated shriek.

"Did you see that, Kakashi-sensei?" she screeches, her hands clenched and pumping the air in victory.

"Huh? See what?" he calls back over the top of his book.

She screams and doesn't catch the smile that he hides.

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Sakura knows that Kakashi sees a lot of Rin in herself. The whole team is a splitting image of his own, he confesses. There is so much of Obito in Naruto and himself in Sasuke that the memories flood back to him. Not all of them are good.

In all his regrets, it is the resemblance to his former female teammate that truly kills him. Rin is one of his biggest failures that, even to this day, despite the constant support and reassurance it is not his fault, he is just getting over.

Sakura knows he feels bad.

She knows because one time, when Naruto had left with Jiraiya, Sasuke had defected, and Kakashi threw himself back into ANBU, he appears in her bedroom. She has not seen him in a while. Months, at least.

It hurts, because she can feel the threads of abandonment ripping apart the second family she has grown to love, but there is nothing she can do about it. Because she knows Kakashi is hurting as well. This is the second team he has lost and it is the only way he knows how to cope. Sakura does not blame him.

She wakes to Kakashi standing in the middle of her room, which, besides the obvious strangeness of it all, should not be possible because she keeps her windows locked and her room springloaded with traps.

It is the dead middle of night and he is a bloody mess. As a medic, she wants to tell him to get his ass to the hospital. As his student, she knows that is neither what he wants nor needs.

Wordlessly, she uses what limited knowledge of medical ninjutsu to heal him. She has only started learning under Tsunade for a few months now, but it is enough to get him functioning again. Whether he likes it or not, she will eventually take him to get better care, but that time is not now.

Millions of questions ride to to her throat, but they die down when she looks in his eyes. Both of them. There's hurt in his normal black eye and a different, almost unrecognizable expression in his Sharingan. They plead her not to say anything so, for once, she respects his wishes.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi says quietly as she stitches together the shattered remains of his right palm. The burns are undoubtedly from a chidori that sat for a moment too long in his hands, building up chakra until it backfired upon him. It is so quiet that she almost does not hear him, even over the quiet that the night brings.

"For what, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura replies easily, trailing glowing green hands over the countless cuts and bruises that litter him. Despite not being able to do much for his internal bleeding or the concussion he has, she does what she can to the best of her ability. Tsunade would have her head if she did not do put her all into what she does.

He does not respond for a while and instead watches as she works. It is the first time, she realizes, that he really puts any attention into her abilities. It stings, but she pushes that deep down and focuses on him instead because he is hurting much more than she is and she has been selfish for long enough.

When she finally pulls her hands away and lets the glow of her hand flicker out, he speaks again. "I promise everything is going to be okay."

Sakura only nods because even though Kakashi always keeps his promises, she does not know how the hell he will manage this one.

He leaves as quickly as he came, but not before ruffling her hair affectionately and giving her his famous eye-crinkle smiles. She accepts this as thanks because she gets to see with with both his eyes instead of the usual one.

Sakura shuts the window behind him, watching as he disappears over the rooftops with leaps and bounds.

When she can no longer see Kakashi fleeing form, she breaks the four month, twelve day, and three hour streak she has maintained since seeing Naruto so close death and cries. She has no right to, because this is Kakashi's pain, not hers, but the tears continue to fall.

Wiping away her tears, she cleans the blood off her floor and tries her best to go back to sleep. It evades her and leaves her with treacherous bags under her eyes when morning comes, when she has to drag herself out of bed to train with her shishou.

The traps remain, but she does not lock her windows anymore.

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Three days later, Kakashi visits again and she is elated to actually get to see him again. Sakura has convinced herself that night was a dream, because really, who the hell goes to a Genin medic in training instead of the hospital?

He is carrying takeout from Ichiraku and a bottle of sake, the same brand that Tsunade likes. She has not had ramen since Naruto left because she promises herself that when he returns, she will take him there and eat and eat until she never wants to see ramen again.

But she is not the ungrateful sort and takes it anyway.

"I'm not old enough to drink, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura laughs, splitting apart her chopsticks. A clean split. That's good luck!

She sits at the head of her bed and he sits at the foot, only allowed there after promising that he will not spill a single drop on her freshly washed sheets.

"Good," he replies, "Because this is all for me. I'm going to need it." He is as cryptic as always, but she has long since learned to accept this. Nevertheless, he talks. More than he ever has talked to her before and she figures it is more than he ever will.

And she listens.

He tells her about his team, his old one. Unlike them, they were never assigned an official number and instead went by the moniker Team Minato.

They were raised in times of war, forced to be adult before they even had to chance to truly be kids. Because of the loss of lives, they were given hasty promotions and were Chuunin before they ever had the chance to be Genin. Before they could experience the pains of D ranked missions and the excitement of the Chunin exams like teams born into an era of peace.

Kakashi describes his sensei, who turns out to be Naruto's dad but don't tell him because he has to figure that out for himself. How Minato was everything anyone could want in a sensei and how he sacrificed everything for the village he loved more than himself. Sakura wishes she could meet him.

Kakashi describes himself. He talks about being described as a genius, being Jonin at 12 and ANBU at 14. There is not pride in his voice, it is not self flattery, only stating facts. The topic then goes from himself to his father. For the first time since he starts talking, Kakashi falters. It is almost unnoticeable, she only picks up on it because she is such an avid listener.

But he is strong. He continues to talk, even though the memories are clearly painful for him. It makes Sakura respect him more than she already does. He describes Sakumo with all the love and care of any son. He tells her of his father's suicide, lowering his voice in respect. They have a brief moment of silence.

Kakashi describes Obito, the Uchiha who was so un-Uchiha in every way. For starters, he had emotions _and_ no trouble expressing them, which is the most amazing part because most of his family had neither. Unconsciously, Kakashi smiles as he talks about Obito and the fights they had. It fades, though, as he recounts the very mission that takes Obito's life. There is so much that happens, first the boulder that crushes Obito and then the Sharingan that he offers Kakashi. The copy nintaps the cold metal of his forehead protector when he reveals that he is often late because he spends so much time at the Memorial Stone.

Lastly, Kakashi describes Rin. The sweet medic nin of his team who always healed his wounds, which he repaid by shoving his Chidori through her chest. He has the least to say about Rin and slips into silence after retelling her death. The bottle of sake is nearly empty, but his ramen is untouched. Instead, it sits in his hands, having grown lukewarm.

Her mind is reeling, processing everything that he has told her. She wants to cry again, not for herself, but for Kakashi, who has lived such a hard life but still puts on a brave front and fights for his village like nothing is wrong. But she holds back her tears, because he is the one who has lived through it all, not her.

There is so much she wants to say, but can not find the strength or courage to force the words from her throat. She wants to say sorry, which does no good for anyone. It is not that Sakura pities Kakashi, because pity is not the same as empathy.

More importantly, she wants to say thank you. Because she can not imagine how hard it is for Kakashi to live through all his memories at once. She knows he is trying hard, so hard, to let her understand him. Why he acts the way he does. Why he always protects her. Why he has never let anyone else in before now.

But while she can offer no words to take all the pain away, Sakura can do her best to comfort him. So she places her half-eaten bowl on the floor, where it won't spill, and reaches over to pat Kakashi on the head. Exactly the same way he does to her.

To his credit, he doesn't cry. He has done so much of that already. Instead, a small smile appears on his lips, stretching the fabric of his mask. It doesn't quite reach his eyes, but it crinkles anyways as if he's trying to convince her of it. Or perhaps to convince himself.

Because Sakura understands that she is all that Kakashi has right now. There is no more Team Minato and there is barely a Team Seven and those are the only people Kakashi have allowed himself to ever get close to.

So they two survivors make peace with both what they have and what they do not and finish their impromptu lunch in silence.

Sakura knows that Kakashi will always be protective of her, whether she likes it or not. Though he knows Rin and Sakura are separate entities, the similarities linger. But if it helps him cope, then she will accept it. Because Kakashi deserves more than the cards he has been dealt.

There is one thing he is thankful for, in the very least, is that the differences between her and Rin are too many to count. He sees the person that is distinctly Sakura and not Rin. It is the least he can do.

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Despite being perhaps the worst person to do so, Kakashi tries to comfort Sakura in the absence of Sasuke and Naruto. To make up for the four months he disappeared from her life, he reinstates their Team Seven training sessions (though now lacking half their members) and pushes her four times as intensely as he ever pushed Sasuke and Naruto. The Chunin exams are coming up again, after the first having been interrupted by both the invasion and Sasuke's defection.

The wounds are fresh, even when time passes and she becomes a Chunin, only half a year since Naruto leaves and a little over eight months since their other teammate had done the same, though Sasuke's departure is a bit more permanent.

She replaces Shikamaru on Team Ten and the teamwork between her, Ino, and Choji almost rivals that of the former Team Seven. Almost. Either way, the competition doesn't stand a chance. In comparison to the previous exams, this year is a breeze. (It may or may not be due to the fact that this year is lacking a certain two Jinchurikis.)

It hurts that of the boys, _her_ boys, only one of them is there to celebrate her accomplishments. But it does not stop them from celebrating the momentous occasion instead of wallowing in pity. There has been too much of that already.

Kakashi buys a cake the moment they leave the stadium after she knocks out the Genin boy from Kusogakure, even though the title isn't official until three days later.

Actually, he bakes a cake, much to her surprise. Admittedly, it's not very good. It's flat and uneven, with just a hint too much salt and a hint not enough sugar, but she eats it anyway. All of it. It is the best thing she has ever tasted because Kakashi made it for her.

He insists on throwing it away, but she won't let him. Instead, she promises to make the cake next time and he can just buy some Ichiraku for them or something. Maybe that will make up for the times he has skipped out on the bill whenever they went as a team.

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It happens a week before her second Chunin exam. Hideo, a civilian man, comes in for his routine yearly checkup, as is required for all citizens of Konoha. Sakura has been put on rounds, with her Shishou demanding she complete at least sixty hours before they continue training.

Really, she thinks she should be training as hard as she can instead of working at the hospital, but when she voices her concerns, Tsunade only snorts and tells her "Of course you're going to pass. You're _my_ apprentice." Sakura leaves her office with an unabashed grin.

It is the end of her shift and after a grueling ten hours of being stuck in the hospital, there is nothing she wants more than to collapse in her bed. She goes through the motions: checking his height and weight, comparing his statistics to previous records, and lastly sending a quick wave of chakra through him to check for any abnormalities.

Nothing seems to be the matter. Hideo leaves within fifteen minutes of being there and Sakura is able to avoid overtime for the first time this week.

She only finds out when she spots his folder suddenly moved to a separate section of the records. Her eyes flicker up to the sign placed on the bookshelf. Deceased. With shaky hands, she reaches for the folder.

Organ failure. It began in his heart, then, when the other organs didn't receive the oxygenated blood they required, the rest of his body shut down as well. It was not quick and merciful death. The paper crinkles under the force of her grip.

In other words, it was something that she could have prevented, _should_ have prevented. But now this man, no, _Hideo_ was dead all because she wanted to go home a few minutes early. Sakura's knees collapse under her and she lands on the floor, holding on weakly to a shelf for support.

Tsunade finds her hours later in the same position. She sees the folder and pulls the girl into a tight hug, already knowing the answer to the question that stalls in the back of her throat. In the moment, she remembers the first time she failed to save a patient, the pain that it brought, and the spiral it sent her down. She does not wish the same for her apprentice, her young and naive apprentice who has already been through so much in the past few months and does not need this grief.

Dry sobs rip through Sakura's throat, but tears do not appear in her eyes. Instead, she grips onto her shishou's top, fingers trembling with fear for the future and rage in herself. The weakness that she has been trying so hard to purge from herself has made a reappearance. It is in her failure to save Hideo just as much as it is in the tears that burn in her eyes that she refuses to let fall. At the very least, let her be strong enough to hold them back.

In quiet whispers, Tsunade tells her it's not her fault. That she has been pushing herself so hard, that the symptoms were hard to see and that it will never happen again. Sakura almost begins to believe it.

In an equally quiet voice, she asks her mentor if it ever gets any easier. If the pain magically stops and she won't feel herself tear into pieces every time she loses a patient. She does not Hideo past his name, his height, his weight, or anything else written in his medical file, but his death still brings her a pain she has never imagined.

Tsunade bites her lip and answers her honestly, because, above all, Sakura does not deserve being lied to. The pain will dull but it will always be there.

Hours later, Sakura collapses on her bed after weak promises that she will be alright. She does not know if it is true, all she knows is that she wants to be at home. The house is empty. Her parents have left her alone to go on a mission, as they have hundreds and hundreds of times before. She should be used to it by now, but their absence has never stung so much.

A loud crash distracts her momentarily. Kakashi has broken her window. He steps into her room, deftly avoiding the mess of broken glass, of which he is the cause, to sit on the edge of her bed.

Sakura rises in anger, ready to release the pent up anger and other raw emotions that have been bubbling up inside her. Instead, he grabs her by the shoulders and hugs her tightly.

"The window was locked."

She is stunned, because the last time she has locked her window was before that night he had suddenly appeared, bloody and bruised. Her lip quivers and the tears begins to overflow, so she takes the only reasonable action she can think of and pushes him away.

The last thing she wants right now is for him to see her cry. To see her as that weak girl from months ago who couldn't even hold a kunai right, much less keep the fabric of their team from ripping apart.

"It's okay to cry," Kakashi says quietly, not relinquishing his grip, "Everyone cries. It doesn't mean you're weak."

She takes in a shuddered breath. "You don't." Her words are almost accusatory, sharpened into a fine point meant to pierce and harm him.

But he is not wounded. Instead, Kakashi laughs and tells her stories of all the times he's cried. It starts when he's young, only a boy of 3 and he spills his ice cream cone. Some stories of them are recent. Actually, a lot of them are recent, especially surrounding the time of Sasuke's departure. During that time, he cried almost as much as she had.

Sakura sits and listens, even when he runs out of stories to tell her, though he assures her there's plenty more time that he simply can't think of right now. The tears have stopped, at least, though her breathing is still ragged and uneven.

When she feels she can make it through a full sentence without breaking down, she tells her that she won't do the exams. Even though it's only a week away and Ino and Choji will definitely be at a loss, she won't. She can't.

He refuses.

Her eyes, as puffy and red as they are, narrow and she again she pulls away in unbridled rage. This time, he lets her break free and she yells until her voice is raw and cracked. She grabs his collar, fingers trembling as they dig into the dark fabric.

Kakashi listens to her, even when she's no longer making sense and is yelling just to be yelling. But when she's finally done, he puts his hand on top of her head and ruffles her hair. "You've worked so hard for this Sakura," he says, "You're strong and I'm proud of you."

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I'd like to point out there is a difference between Kakashi and Boar. The chapter's title is important. At least, to me, it is.

I like seeing the more human side of Kakashi. And on that note, I really liked writing this chapter. So much so that when I first wrote it, it ended up being super long so I split it into two.


	4. Kakashi (ii)

_**vindication | noun | vin·di·ca·tion | proof that something or someone is right, reasonable, or justified | the act of clearing someone from blame or suspicion**_

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They make an odd pair, a chunin and a jonin. Technically, they shouldn't be allowed on mission together. Protocol for the B rank missions they take usually call for two Jonin or three Chunin, unless there are special circumstances. But Tsunade makes exceptions, she lets it slide without a second thought. People are going to complain no matter what she does anyway.

There are cries about favoritism, to which the older woman sneers and orders the offender out of her office after screaming that she doesn't owe an explanation to anyone who can't figure it out for themselves. Sakura has only seen it happen once, but it's a favorite memory of hers.

Their first mission is a disaster, however. Not enough for Tsunade to refuse to pair them together anymore, but it's still on the back of her mind every time she hands them a mission scroll.

The first mission isn't a failure because they failed to complete their objective. If anything, they go above and beyond expectations, delivering the package to the Daimyo without any diversions along the way. In fact, they're due to arrive back three days ahead of schedule and even have time for a detour to one of the roadside teahouses. She had always begged to go to one whenever they had taken missions back then.

They are two hours from Konoha's gates when they meet her. She is a missing nin who has as many names as bounties on her head. On this occasion, she chooses to introduce herself as the Black Widow and Sakura immediately recognizes her from the Bingo books. A ranked, she remembers reading, with a strong favorability towards poison.

And the poison she uses is potent, Kakashi is just barely nicked by one of her senbon and starts to lose feeling in his right leg. "My, my," the Black Widow chuckles, "The mighty Copy Nin taken down by such a silly little thing? That's quite disappointing." Her voice is cold and sends shivers down Sakura's spine, but she stands firm anyway.

"Sakura. You need to run." Kakashi stares at his former student with grim determination, "I won't be able to stand for much longer."

The sensation is familiar and Sakura realizes she is reliving the Wave mission all over again, though this is not one of her many nightmares of that fateful fight. But this time she is strong and just like last time, she will not dare to run away. So without hesitation, she cracks her knuckles and splits the ground apart.

There is little time to work with. Her first priority is moving Kakashi out of the fight safely. It is lucky that the poison is not lethal, though the Black Widow definitely is. From what is written in her bingo book entry, she prefers to use paralyzing poisons so that she can torture and then execute her victims. The thought alone makes Sakura shudder.

In the midst of the confusion, Sakura utilizes Kakashi's favorite technique and pulls both of them into the ground and leaves him there. Though he's fading in and out of consciousness, she whispers a quiet promise that she will be back and an even more dangerous promise that they will both survive. Before the dust begins to settle, she reemerges.

"Where the hell have you taken my prey?" the missing nin snaps, darting forward in the blink of an eye.

"You won't be able to find him, he's long gone by now!" Sakura barely dodges the kunai in the woman's hand and leaps away into the thick treetops. Chakra pumps through her legs as she struggles to put distance between them. The only question now is how to keep her promise and survive?

But the Black Widow takes the bait and gives chase, hissing through her clenched teeth, "You'll pay for this, girl!"

The chase begins and whatever plan she had been following up until this moment has run out. Right now, as she carefully decides her next moves, all she can do is pray that she is quick enough on her toes to stay alive and figure something out.

It hits Sakura suddenly, when her mind is racing through the information she knows about her opponent. She remembers the spools of thin, razor-sharp wire that sits in her pouch. Using the woman's namesake again her would be predictable, but there was no way Sakura would be able to win in a direct fight. She has to at least try.

She pushes herself harder to give herself the distance and time needed to set the whole thing up. While the woman is stunningly fast, she is not local to the land of Fire and can't navigate the forest as well as someone who has lived it their entire life.

The trap takes a while to lay. She does not have to time to spring the wire all at once, but leads the Black Widow on a grand chase, circling back to the area where the strings up a few more wires, then quickly escapes. If her opponent has caught on to her plan, she has made no indication that she is aware of it and Sakura takes solace in that, at the very least.

There are close calls, many more than Sakura would have liked. The poisonous weapons comes too close for comfort on a few occasions, and she is just barely able to dodge or pull out her own kunai to deflect them. She can extract poison, but such a fast acting one would spread throughout her bloodstream before she can do much about it.

At last, the wires are set and it is just barely in time, because Sakura is quickly running out of chakra. Her legs burn from overexertion and her speed falters, causing her to lose footing on a branch and fall tumbling to the ground below.

The missing nin sees the opportunity and takes it. Her hand grips the poisonous kunai and draws back to deal the long-awaited blow that will end this chase that has drawn on for much too long already.

At the very last moment, Sakura manages to right herself and plants her feet on a tree trunk to launch herself away. She is cut by a few of the wires and they slice deep, but she does not allow herself to be caught in them. She skids on the ground, rolling in the dirt before digging her feet into the soil to stop herself.

Black Widow is not so lucky. She falls and falls and ensnares herself into the web that Sakura has weaved for her. The wires cut deep into her skin and flesh, wrapping around her and trapping her in its painful grip. "Cheeky brat," she coughs, her body trembling at the pain and the kunai falling from her useless grip, "You dare use my own name against me?" Suddenly she laughs. "You're a smart one, aren't you? I underestimated you."

Sakura has nothing to say. She nods slowly.

"I'm dead any way you look at it, so listen here, girl. I'll give you a little present for defeating me." She tilts her chin, beckoning Sakura to come closer.

Cautiously, the pink haired girl approaches, shoulders tense and her fists balled tight in anticipation. "Unless it's the antidote," she sneers, "I don't need anything you could give me."

"My poisons have no antidote. But I can do you better than that." For a dying woman, her eyes gleam with a haunting ferocity and her mouth splits into a grin. "They are yours now, you'll find them in my pouch. You're a medical nin, I know. I've had my eye on the students of the Copy Nin for quite a while. This is priceless for you."

Sakura opens her mouth in protest, she has no need for such things, but she is cut off quickly.

"Take them, decode them, and do what you will."

"Why? What's the point in giving this to me?"

"That is the law of nature. When one is defeated, all that they are is either consumed or returned to the earth." There is a mad glint in her eye and though she cannot reasonably lash out, the look still gives Sakura an uneasy feeling.

The young girl shakes her head and falters backward, struggling to put distance between her and this madwoman. "You're insane if you think that will ever happen."

"They will call you Orbweaver. Tricky little things, their poison is not quite as deadly like a black widow or a recluse, but they lure you in and ensnare you."

"Absolutely not! I'll have no part is whatever sick thing you're thinking of, I-"

"Oh child," she purrs, gaining just enough strength to reach her bloody hand out to Sakura, "You will be my legacy."

The Black Widow dies without much grandeur. There is no screaming or crying. Instead, there is only her mad ravings before she takes a low, gasping breath. And then there is silence and Sakura feels strangely alone in the midst of big, open forest.

A wave of exhaustion hits her and she almost collapses on the spot, but there is much to be done in the wake of their battle.

Sakura, or rather, _Orbweaver_ , is cautious as she takes the aforementioned poisons from the dead woman's pouch, but they are there as promised. She gives the woman one thing, and that is that she is correct in that these glistening, dangerous vials hold so much knowledge and potential that it makes her heart flutter at the possibilities.

But that is for another time, when they are safe behind Konoha's walls.

She holds no affection for the Black Widow, nor does she have cause for any, but all the same, Sakura carefully cuts the wire and releases the woman from her eternal prison. There is no time for a burial, but she burns the body and scatters the ashes in the wind. In there, there is something to be said about the laws of nature that the missing nin had been so adamant about, but the words do not fall from her lips. Not from Sakura's pink, chapped ones, and certainly not from the woman's tinged blue ones that are long, long gone.

True to her word, Sakura returns to Kakashi, a bit bloodied and with a sizeable dent in her chakra reserves. She brings him to the surface, mildly surprised he hasn't already dug himself out. He checks her over not once, not twice, but three times to make sure that she is alive. He can't handle losing another teammate and the fear that their opponent inspired was incredibly real.

Initially he's mad that she didn't follow his orders, that she didn't run like he had instructed, and he lets her know this. When he's done yelling, (though his version of yelling is harsh, quiet words through clenched teeth) her head is bowed in shame and she is unable to meet his eyes.

But above all else, he is proud. Incredibly so. She had been able to survive an opponent who was able to down him so easily, even if it was out of his own recklessness. Kakashi places a firm, but gentle hand on her head and ruffles her hair.

Shock mars her features as she finally brings her head up to look at him. His expression is not one of anger, like she had expected, but there is the tiniest hints of a smile in the corners of his face. She's learned to read him quite well.

It takes a bit of convincing, but he reluctantly allows her to heal him, but the stipulation that she take at least a week off when they return home. She won't settle for less, her pride and her position as a medic simply won't allow her to let him travel in his condition. She pops a soldier pill and sets to work.

She finds that his system has been able to process most of the poison out. It seems it was never meant to be lingering in the first place, most likely because the victims wouldn't be alive for much longer anyhow.

"Are you okay?" Kakashi asks quietly, his voice only a bit louder than the chirping crickets that signal the setting of the sun.

"You checked me like, fifty times for injuries already."

He shakes his head. "That's not what I meant."

Sakura falters slightly, the glow of her hands stuttering momentarily, but she surges forth anyway, drawing the last remnants of poison from his system. "I'm not sure," she replies honestly, biting the inside of her cheek, "But I'm alive aren't I? That's all I can ask for."

No more questions are asked, and for that, she is grateful. The silence overtakes them as they set off again, in the burning blackness of the night, towards Konoha.

It's not until a week later that the topic is encroached up again. Surprisingly, it's Sakura who brings it up, in the middle of the mess of a dinner Kakashi has whipped up this week.

"She was my first kill you know," she says, as easily as if she was commenting on the weather, "Even though it wasn't directly by my hand, I set the trap and led her to it."

"Are you okay?" Without any mention of name or any other detail, Kakashi knows immediately who she speaks about. And without hesitation, he in turn asks the same question he did before and his eyes flicker up to watch her. He does not know what trap Sakura is talking about. In fact, he knows almost nothing about the fight between her and the Black Widow, but he listens on.

"Yes. Well, no. I feel like I should feel guilty, shouldn't I? I took someone's life, it's something that can never be given back." She takes a deep breath, setting down her chopsticks and leaning back. "But I don't. I can't help but to think about if I had faltered, what moves lives she would have taken and I can't bring myself to feel any remorse. Is that wrong? Am I wrong?"

He does not respond immediately. Instead, he picks his words with intense care. "Life is very precious. It is a tragedy any time it is lost."

Her lips press into a thin line.

"But I believe that the life of a comrade, of someone you care for, is more precious than that of the enemy. If you don't feel guilt, then you have made the right decision for yourself."

"Right," she whispers, and then laughs, feeling silly that she had ever doubted Kakashi's trust in her, "Thanks, sensei."

He smiles and nods and they fall back into their meal. "Well, let's not stop there," he says, sneaking a piece of food past his mask, "Tell me the juicy details, this old man is quite starved of gossip."

So Sakura weaves the tale, not unlike how she weaved her web, with precision and acute accuracy. She tells of every close call, how the plan almost fell apart multiple times, every single detail and encapsulating the fear and adrenaline in each word. It builds and builds until the very climax, when the Black Widow falls prey to the web of another spider.

"She called me her legacy," Sakura recounts, "And she even gave me a name."

"Oh? What was it?"

"Orbweaver."

Kakashi looks contemplative, tilting his head slightly as if trying to envision her shoulders carrying the weight of the moniker. "You know? I rather like it."

She shrugs. "Not like it's actually going to go anywhere though. I'd rather build a name for myself, not ride the coattails of some other nin."

"Well, I can't argue with that, but every has to get their name in the bingo books somehow. Wouldn't hurt to have that in there, and you can say you chose the name for yourself, not the other way around."

Sakura freezes. "Wait, wait, wait," she sputters, "What?!"

And while she is thrown off about the whole thing, Kakashi is unperturbed as he begins to clear the table. "Well you killed someone that was already in there. It's something like a rite of passage. The new edition's coming out in a month, hope your photo is up to date."

Whether fortunately or unfortunately, Sakura does not, in fact, show up in the bingo books. She credits it to the fact that there's no real way for the death to be traced back to her, seeing as there was no body to be found. The Black Widow might have just taken an early retirement, for all the public knew. However, there is one thing for certain, and that is the fact that Sakura's face will not grace the bingo books. She will not stand amongst the greats quite yet, but there is a spark in her fingertips and a shiver down her spine that tell her of great things to come.

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After training one day, Sakura asks him to help her move. Kakashi agrees, but can't help his curiosity and asks who she's moving in with.

She gives him a funny look. "Myself?" she responds, tilting her head. Before he can say any protests, she quickly cuts him off. She wants the freedom, mostly. Her parents may be shinobi too, but they will always be parents first. The overprotective kind who complain every time she does anything more dangerous than paperwork.

Yes, her budget can handle it, her hospital work and missions make sure of that. And yes, he can still use her as a clinic instead of going to the hospital. This seems to pacify him.

She doesn't have much to move, only a few boxes, but perhaps this shouldn't be a surprise seeing as all the furniture she owns technically belongs to her parents. But not to worry, she assure him, she has a bed and dresser already and the other furniture is simply waiting to be put together or delivered.

Pakkun even helps out. Well, as much as breaking in her new bed for her is helping out. She gives him a pass because he's cute and is at least staying out of the way. However, Kakashi is none too amused when the pug gives him a smug look as he brings in another two boxes into the bedroom.

Their work is done quickly, perhaps an hour at most. Sakura assures him she doesn't need help unpacking, but she would take up him on his offer of helping her put together the new furniture she has ordered. Really, she doesn't need help with it, but she just wants to see him try. Kakashi doing anything vaguely domestic will always be a wonder to her.

It takes two hours to put together the coffee table. He swears that the instructions are in Latin and Sakura rolls her eyes before informing him the screw will not go in because he's using the wrong screwdriver. Nevertheless, the table is damned beautiful and she swears she'll never get rid of it til the day she dies.

Unfortunately, there's still a dining table and set of chairs that needs to be put together. At the rate they're going, she just might have a furnished apartment by next month. So they take a break to pick up food before setting themselves to work.

"You're not allowed to move again," Kakashi sighs, stuffing his face with the takeout they brought back with them. He is laying down on her couch, conveniently delivered just two hours ago, and observing the fruits of their labor. Not bad, if he says so himself.

Sakura snorts and kicks his feet off so that she can sit down too. "Not planning on it. Or at least next time I'll ask someone who knows basic carpentry. I bet Ino-pig would've been more helpful."

"You wound me," he says, giving her a dejected look, "Physically _and_ emotionally." His words are a bit garbled. She is amazed at how the hell he still manages to eat without anyone seeing.

"Yeah, yeah, just eat your food and get the hell out of my apartment."

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When she is sixteen, Kakashi again helps her celebrate when she passes the Jonin test. This time, there is more than just the two of them. It takes convincing, because he _really_ dislikes crowds, but they go to the new bar that has just opened downtown. Sparrow's Nest, they call it.

Imagine her surprise when Team Ten is there as well. Ino is tipsy, clinging on both Shikamaru's and Choji's arm as she stumbles across to bar to greet them. She tells them about her plans to get absolutely blackout and Shikamaru lets out an exaggerated groan. Choji is a bit nicer and says nothing, but the nervous look on his face betrays his silence.

After ordering from the bar, the five of them find a table a bit out of the way. While it isn't that much quieter, it's at least out of the path of the drunk people they would much rather not deal with.

"Aren't you all a little young to be drinking?" Kakashi asks, taking a sip from his drink through his mask.

"That's disgusting." Sakura grimaces, ignoring his question completely and instead focusing on the slightly darker patch on his mask. "Can't you at least be sneaky like you usually do?"

He looks offended. "I don't even know what you're implying. Are you trying to avoid the question?"

"Uh huh, sure." She waved her hand dismissively. "Don't worry, sensei, you're not promoting underage drinking, we're all legal here."

"Ah, no more of that. Now that you're Jonin, I'm not really your sensei anymore."

"Oh, right right," Sakura replies with a nod before a grin overtakes her face, "So I get to call you senpai now?"

At some point, their humble group of five expands. Team Eight makes an appearance and the other senseis, as well as a handful of other Jonin Kakashi is familiar with, joins the fray. Expectedly, Gai is among them and the drunken chatter soon turns into drunk screams about youth and challenging his eternal rival.

However, the rest of the night is forever lost to the both of them. All Kakashi remembers is waking up face down on Sakura's floor. How the hell he was convinced to drink so much is beyond him and he sits up with a groan, his back cracking in protest. Oh no, nevermind, aching joints are surely from Gai's challenges.

There is a distinct throbbing in his temples, though luckily there's no urge to vomit. Really, as much fun as he presumably had, he's much too old for this. More importantly, he notices offhandedly, his mask is nowhere to be found.

Sakura enters the room with a loud yawn, holding two mugs of coffee in her hands. "Kakashi-sensei, are you awake yet- _Holy shit._ " She nearly trips over her own feet.

He stares up at her for a few seconds, wondering what the hell she was staring at before realization dawned on him. He grabbed for the first thing within reach, one of the pillows on her couch, and buries his face in it. "Nope, it's a henge. Not my face, not at all. Fooled you again, don't you feel dumb?"

"No way, that's what you've been hiding all along?!" she shrieks, stalking over to him and sitting down the cups on the coffee table, "That's so not fair, it's perfectly normal, handsome, even. You don't even have buck teeth or fish lips!" She pauses and let out a girlish squeal, throwing herself down on the couch. "Naruto's gonna be so jealous!"

"Maa, Sakura-chan," he ventures, peeking up at her over the fringe of the fabric, "Any chance we could forget this ever happened and protect my face from the world?"

She pursed her lips. "I might consider it. _If_ and only if you come in for your monthly check ups. Not just by living room either, I mean the hospital. You know, the one that's a few blocks down and is open and _free_ to the public?"

He deflates a bit, but not seeing any other way out of his predicament, gives the tiniest of nods.

"Great!" she cheers, hopping up and pulling incessantly on his arm, "We're starting today, let's go!"

Unfortunately for him, she has always been strong and easily pulls him to a stand. He almost loses grip of the pillow that is shielding his last bits of privacy.

"Wait wait, Sakura, can't I get a sick mask or something?" he panics, digging his heels into the wooden floor, to no avail, "You're a medic, you must have some of those!"

She looks back at him with a mischievous expression he hasn't seen since her Genin days and a sinking pit forms in his stomach. "Nope!"

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"Are you sure this is what you want?" Kakashi asks, his hand hovering above the dotted lines. All he has to do is officially sign his name as her ANBU sponsor and she will begin the arduous recruitment process. He remembers his own all too well.

"Yes," Sakura replies, her voice unwavering, "I've had a lot of time to think about this."

"You're already head medic at the hospital, are you sure you can handle ANBU as well?"

" _Kakashi_."

But he remains firm. "You know I'm not questioning your abilities Sakura. I just want to know if you've taken all things into consideration. It's more than just strength."

She meets his eyes and though only one is visible, her gaze burns through the thick cloth to stare directly at him. "I know."

And without anymore pointless words, especially when her mind is already made, he presses the pen into the paper and blemishes it with his red signature.

In three days, Sakura receives a letter. It appears suddenly when her back is turned, in the middle of the desk in her office. The handwriting is unfamiliar and purposely plain, with no distinct lilts or curves to it, untraceable. It instructs her to return to where the letter was initially found at midnight of the same day.

There is nothing more to it, no markings or seals, and nothing is revealed when she sends threads of her own chakra through it. It seems that was all there was to it, and she burns the paper before leaving to complete her shift, though the letter stays in the back of her mind the entire time.

When the clock strikes midnight, Sakura is standing in her office and then suddenly, in a whirl of colors and wind, she is in an unfamiliar room. Surrounding her are other candidates, most of which she did not recognize, but she notices Shino amongst the faces.

In front of them, ANBU are lined up to face them. Their masks cover their faces and hide their identities, but there is one that she knows all too well. As her sponsor, Panther takes his place and stands in front of her, his hands clasped behind his back. Though she can't see it, she knows that he is staring her down.

Before her mind wanders and questions why they have brought the sponsors here, one of the ANBU steps forward. "Recruits," he calls out, his voice muffled and unrecognizable under his Horse mask, "You have now entered the first stage. In two weeks, you will undergo the first trial. In this time, you will be under the instruction of your sponsor to prepare yourselves." He scans the crowd of them. "Dismissed."

For the first time since she took her position at the head of the hospital, Sakura uses her vacation time and leaves Shizune to run the place. The majority of the time is spent training and if she thought that Kakashi was a hardass before, he pushes her beyond anything she has experienced so far. Even her years under Tsunade seem to pale in comparison.

"Get up."

"Stop, Panther," Sakura snarls back, tugging her arm away from him as she heals one of her more serious injuries. It is only the third day of training and she is running on a little more than two hours of sleep. She is exhausted. Determined, yes, but oh so very tired.

But Panther does not allow himself to be brushed off so easily. His grip is firm on her arm and he stops the healing process. "There will not be a moment in battle where the enemy will stop and let you recover," he hisses, "Go again, and no more breaks."

She sneers at him, but complies anyway. The first lesson he had taught her is that the word of superior officers is not to be questioned and though she does not really believe it (and doubts that even he believes it), she puts up the front.

They spar for another hour before her chakra is spent and she feels dead on her feet. She stumbles and because he does not pull his punches, he lands a jab to her gut that makes her crumple.

"Yield," Sakura gasps, unable to gather the chakra to dismiss the pain. Instead, she lies in the tall grass of the training field with her eyes screwed shut and a hand over the sensitive part of her stomach.

There is a shuffling and she can feel him sit beside her. After a short silence, he suddenly speaks. "Medics don't survive ANBU."

Her eyes snap open an she turns her head slightly to look at him. His own gaze however, is fixed on something in the distance. The porcelain mask he had been wearing only seconds prior is gone from his face and, equally as surprising, so is his cloth one.

"Contrary to what we like to tell the citizens, ninja from other villages aren't dumb. They know how to cripple our forces effectively, and that almost always means going for the medic nin first. There is a reason medics are standard issue in Jonin or Chunin teams, but not in ANBU."

Though it is a struggle, Sakura sits up, only wincing slightly at the bruises that pepper her body and the soreness that tugs on her muscles and joints. "Yeah, well, I'm not applying as a medic."

He turns to her and searches her face. "Good," Kakashi says, giving her a feral grin. It is almost predatory. His sharp, pearly white canines glisten and, though Sakura already knows how strong he is, she can't help but to think that he looks positively lethal. "I'm not training you as one."

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At the end of their two weeks, they are given yet another scroll and Sakura finds herself standing in the exact same place that she had before. It is only then that the first stage is revealed: elimination matches. She can't help but to think back to the Chunin exams.

Each candidate will go through two opponents in no limitations spars, and only the victor of both will proceed to the second stage.

Sakura's first opponent is an Inuzuka girl. She looks no different than many those of her clan, messy brown hair and red triangles on her cheeks, but there is no dog that accompanies her. And while she may look the part, she does not act like an Inuzuka. Instead, she is quiet and withdrawn, and her brown eyes are twitchy and calculating.

Their fight does not last long, however, because as clever and admittedly strong the Inuzuka girl may be, she is still missing the core part of her namesake. She is exceptional at taijutsu, her strikes are strong and well-timed. But the style is not meant for a single person alone. Her clan was built to stand with their partners, to fight alongside them. The Inuzukas are not just a family, they are a pack and above all, they are never loners.

"What's your name?" Sakura asks, after the match draws to a close.

The girl looks up at her and does not respond immediately, her eyes tracing Sakura's face, as if memorizing every detail. She finally concedes though, when she draws her gaze away. "Kira," she replies, and offers nothing else.

Sakura nods and they part ways.

Her second match takes much longer. He is from a clan she does not recognize, but she knows for certain that he must be a part of a clan. The way that he carries himself is not unlike the way many of the clan children did so. She should know, she grew up with a majority of the heirs.

Most distinctly, he has heard of her, the apprentice of the legendary Tsunade.

"It's such a shame," he whispers into her ear, after their match had been going on for some time, "Such power is wasted on a pitiful thing like you." When he draws away, there is a trace of a smirk on his face, expectant and arrogant. He wants to see the damage his words have done.

Sakura refuses to let him have that. Instead, she smiles back and fractures his knee with a blow that he had not been expecting.

From there, the outcome match is fairly obvious, but she will admit that he is headstrong and persistent. Or just stupid, they tend to go hand in hand. He continues to put up a good fight, but his speed is crippled and it is just enough for Sakura to gain a distinct upper hand.

When the match is finally called, she does not ask his name, but she does watch his face when the realization that he has just lost to a kunoichi born a civilian finally sets in. It's immensely gratifying.

The group of candidates is noticeably smaller than before and Sakura is rather pleased to see that Shino has made it through the first stage as well. But really, she hadn't expected anything less.

The next few stages seem to fly by, a genjutsu test for the second stage, and then they are assigned into teams and thrown into the Forest of Death for the third. (Seriously, this whole this is just the Chunin exams but a bit more dangerous) But the final stage, almost two months after they received their first scrolls, is something she, admittedly, never expected.

A spar between them and their sponsors.

And it's perfect, because it is their sponsors who have been guiding them this entire way, and in turn, have been learning their strengths and weaknesses. They will be able to predict the moves and actions of the potential recruits.

But Panther knows that about her anyway. While she is sure there are many, many things she doesn't know about him, she has worked alongside him for six years. She may know only glimpses into his past and only glimpses past the masks he wears, she knows how he fights and how he moves and lives and _breathes._

And that is enough.

Their fight is more intense than any spar they have had before. Not when she was a Chunin, or as a Jonin, or in the weeks and weeks of training they have spent together in preparation for her examination.

He is quick, never lingering in one place for too long. He tends to favor his right, but is ambidextrous. Competent in taijutsu, ninjutsu, the list went on. And above all, his eye. But she knows all of this already.

Their fight is a blur.

Sakura has to push herself to her limits, and then beyond, to even begin to match his speed. They clash, and then withdraw, and then he pursues like the predator that he is. The kunai that he holds switches hands and he strikes again.

She parries and dodges. His attacks come so quickly that there is no time for her to return his blows.

Then it hits her. That she is using the techniques she learned as a medic, the lessons and tendencies that were instilled into her while under Tsunade. That a medic cannot afford to be hit or to go down in a fight. They are to stay alive to support their teammates above all else.

And she did not come into ANBU as a medic.

Panther stabs forward with his kunai, and this time, Sakura does not move out of the way. His aim is slightly to her right, where he has predicted she will try to dodge to, and the tip of the blade skims her flesh, leaving a line of crimson in its wake.

It is obvious that he is not expecting that, and the momentary falter is all the time she needs. In a split second, with speed that he would be proud of, Sakura draws her fist back and smashes it into his chest.

He goes flying, but lands on his feet in a skid. This is the first pause in their battle, and he simply looks at her for a moment.

She cannot see it, but she can sense that same feral grin under his mask.

The moment is over quickly, and they are back into the fight. It is the same pace as before, simply a blur of figures, but everything else is much, much different. Sakura no longer remains unscatched, but, she notes proudly, neither does he.

But the real moment of pride is when the sound of chirping birds breaks through the silence and the air becomes static. Blue lightning crackles in his hand, skittering across his skin dangerously. He surges forth.

It is an hour later, when Sakura comes too. Instinctively, she checks herself for injuries, but it seems they have all been taken care of and there is not a single scratch left upon her. There isn't even a trace of the Chidori. Though she is able to avoid the full brunt of the attack, he just barely catches her in the side. The lightning assaults her skin and electrifies her and burns and burns and burns.

"Yo," Panther calls, giving a nonchalant wave. He is the only one left in the room with her.

Sakura sighs, rubbing her sore arms. "Guess I didn't pass, huh?"

"Well, I beg to differ." He reaches behind him and unclips a mask from his belt. He hands it to her.

"What?" She takes the porcelain in unsteady hands. "But I lost?"

"It wasn't really about win or lose," he says with a shrug, "It's about adapting to your situation and all that. You'll have to ask Horse if you're really curious, he's in charge of the recruiting process." He pauses, and then reaches over to ruffle her hair. "Proud of you."

She snorts, but doesn't question her insane luck. She can't contain her grin and bumps her shoulder against him. Her attention then is directed towards the mask in her hands. There are eight distinct red circles on the face and at first she can't tell what animal it is. But she figures out soon enough.

"A spider, really?"

"I'd personally like to think of it more as an Orbweaver," Panther comments offhandedly, moving to stand up and offering her a hand.

She laughs as he pulls her to stand. "I never said I was going to actually go by that, anyways. Like I said, people will think I'm trying to gain fame off of someone else's legacy."

"I don't see it that way."

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Because," Pather says, "You'll be so great that everyone will forget there was even a Black Widow in the first place."

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The first time Kakashi invites her to the Memorial Stone, it is on the date halfway between Obito's and Rin's deaths and Sakura has half a mind to refuse. That's his sacred area and she doesn't want to trample on that.

But he insists and she has never really been able to refuse him.

They buy a bouquet of pretty white lilies from the Yamanaka flower shop and burn incense, as is the tradition he's fallen into. And then they sit in silence.

"You're quite like me, you know," Kakashi says, after almost a half hour has passed. He does not turn to look at her as he says these words. Instead, he keeps his eyes trained on the stone in front of them. It is almost without question which two names he is retracing.

Sakura does not turn either, though her eyes flit towards him for a brief moment. "Oh? I thought I was like Rin." She tries to hold a teasing tone in her voice, but it falters.

"I thought so too." He rises from his kneeling position and stuffs his hands into his pockets, turning his gaze to the sky. It is a clear, cloudless day. The vibrant hues of the rising sun are unfettered against the brilliant blues.

"Rin was a healer. And stubborn as an ox. But she always put the happiness of others before her own, even when it meant going out of her way for them. Did I mention she was a healer? Not just a medic-" Kakashi cuts himself off, wiring his mouth shut with such force that she can see the tremble in his jaw.

Sakura furrows her eyebrows, unsure of the point that he is trying to make, but whatever it is he's not making it very well. She stares up at him incredulously before moving to rise and stand next to him.

Finally, his eye lands on her. And it carries and unspeakable amount of weight and bitter sadness in it. "But I think the both of us were born lonely."

"Yeah," she whispers back as the bright dawn turns into a beautiful morning and ellipses into a hazy afternoon.

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Well this is a long chapter. I really should have cut the two Kakashi chapters different but oh wellllll. But things will start moving to plot next chapter, I promise.

Geez Kakashi, why does mom let you have two animal masks? Because the Kakashi then and the Kakashi now are different.


End file.
